At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
