If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
