porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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