I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The convent might be a nice break from real life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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