If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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