I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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