if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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