he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
