So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Someone signed my nipple.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
