you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
