i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
tell me about the eggs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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