yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize