Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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