no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
