It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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