your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
