the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
