Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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