This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
