he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
