Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
