So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
