the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
