There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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