Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
