He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
