Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
