whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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