So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
