I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you never un-have a 4some
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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