It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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