I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
