Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
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