White coat. Heels.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
