Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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