tell your sister to shave her snatch
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
