Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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