Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
