I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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