it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
