with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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