i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
