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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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