just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
