What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
