Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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