I must be too annoying 4 u.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
