You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
