This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize