Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
