She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
