I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
