New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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