I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize