remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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