he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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