so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
