Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
