I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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