hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
