If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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