so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
