I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
