I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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