well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
