I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
