i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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