We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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