also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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