I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
