I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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