In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
