I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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