: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
